Kerry thanks for the sushi reference. I think I will try a sushi place without the kids first to see if I like it and whether the place has something I think they would eat....
Today is my 'counseling' day. MIL/FIL usually pick the kids up on Wednesdays and have them for dinner as Weds is usually Dan's night...well FIL called Monday and said he wasn't feeling well and MIL was throwing up so they would be unavailable all week. I just said ok no problem.
They told me the same the past 2 weeks, that they couldn't help with the kids. Which really is fine. I NEVER ask them anymore. Dan can let them help him but I am done letting them help me as there are always strings attached...
Got home from the concert last night and my dad had the kids in bed, said there was a message on the machine from Dan. I listened to it, it was just him saying "I called to tell you guys I Love You, I am in Monterrey (Mexico) and heading in to dinner. Guess I will talk to you tomorrow...good night I love you."
I am sure it was for the kids only but still it was weird to hear the ILY with his voice, when I never hear it anymore.
So anyway I am going to go to counseling and then pick up my kids from daycare, so no "BBJ night" like I normally get on Weds but that ok. I am going to tell/ask the counselor to help me with my goal of moving forward and getting 'unstuck'. To this point we have talked about finishing up the D process, how I am handling the kids, dealing with communications from Dan, etc. But I don't think I have told her how stuck I am.
It is a weird contradiction actually. I cannot imagine a real future with Dan in it. I was watching some couples at the concert last night, holding hands, embracing, a couple kissing (ewww). I can clearly remember doing all of those things with Dan in the past, but I cannot picture doing them with him ever again. Yet at the same time I cannot picture what "Dan-free-future" looks like either....
