How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

I am having trouble finding a therapist in our area that have experience dealing with married couples. I don't want therapy destroy any opportunity of reconciliation. I read WMD on choosing the right kind of therapist and most in our area deal with depression and related subjects on individual basis.

From what I understand she just wants to vent, she is not looking for guidance she wants to get everything out since it has been bottled up for so long.

How do I help in the process of forgiveness with my wife? She is stuck in the past.

I am doing my best to follow guidance of the DR book and all the advice you all have shared in this thread. I am not pressuring her or doing things that would be considered pursuit.

- I am NOT saying ILY
- I am NOT talking about our R or M
- I am NOT talking about changes I made
- I am NOT forcing things on her
- I am NOT doing things like make her lunch or pick up after her, wash her cloths UNLESS she asks and when she does I happily do it.
- I do NOT make her feel that the was she feels is wrong
- I DO maintain a calm tone of voice and remain positive despite her negativity toward our M.

Today my W text me on her way home from work asking me if I would like her to stop and get a movie. I told her it was up to her, but then she said she would rather just go to the movies.