I too am confused, it obv didn't work in my sitch, and in some of MWD's lit. it says, not to include family, or look for support, also no snooping...
I know that you advocate a diff approach than MWD on A's, and I do believe it was better for me to do something than not do anything at all...
I wish it were a science.
It really depends Maynard
The desired outcome is
1. End of the Affair 2. Reconcilliation with Spouse
In some cases, exposing to family members and such WILL HELP this come about.. in other cases, it will just do damage. I really depends on the situation.
It's not an exact procedure not by any means...
It's more like a political campaign
That's why its so ugly when affairs hapepn.. .if forces friends and family to make a partisan choice between the two of you...
It is more or less a declaration of war...
Most people prfer to take to Switzerland and hide until the war is over...
SOME will help you, some will help the other side.. its a VERY ugly business
So, ONLY include family and friends if you are sure they will HELP YOU
There's no point in exposing an affair to someone who is just going to cheer them on.. you rally have just dug a deeper grave if you are merely recruiting divorce cheerleaders
"What, oh, she's having an affair? She's happy again? Oh that's great, I will call her and congragulate her!!!"
If THAT is the response you think you might get from exposure, do NOT do it.
Its an ends justifies the means thing.
I don't advocate snooping for the sake of knowing what's going on no...
I DO advocate collecting INTEL so you can be properly prepared to deal with the affair...
If you snoop and the result is you just BLASTING yoru partner then don't waste your time, you are just doing damage
if you snoop and find out yoru partner will be meeting up with thier affair partner at place x... then use that .. send a marriage friendly friend there to "accidentally" meet up with them and surprpise them, embarass them, and basically run their plans... THAT i advocate
The objective is to RUIN the affair, make it NO FUN at ALL for them.. if you can collect INTEL that produces THAT result, then do it.
