I have to agree about men and decision making. It used to drive me beyond crazy that my exH could NEVER make a decision. He would say "lets go to dinner". I would say "sounds great, where do you want to go?" Him: I don't care, you pick.
No matter what we did it was always up to me. I can honestly say the best vacation we EVER took was when he chose the place, activities and so on. I got tired of making all the decisions from social activities, finances, household bills, vacations and everything in between.
Of course, once he dropped the bomb his big complaint was we never did anything HE wanted to do (which is BS because I sat through my more hockey, football, baseball games, golf tourneys and concerts than anybody I know, lol!).
I will say pre-bomb, pre me getting sick and obviously pre-affair for nearly a decade my H was very thoughtful. He brought me flowers once per week and was very sweet that way. I will always appreciate that. I just wish he had found some balance.
When I would bring it up to him (EX: him never having an opinion about where we would eat) he would get mad at me and say nothing he did was good enough and I always found a reason for him not to be good enough and it should not matter to me that he liked me to pick our evenings out. So I eventually dropped it because when my H says he wont' change, he means it!
Bottom line is there has to be a balance. I think sometimes men go overboard with the masculine stance. I think sometimes women go overboard with the submissive stance. I don't know the magic formula but I do feel it has to be about balance.
