How do you expect to maintain no contact if you take invites to birthday parties?
Anyhow, i think you know where we are at on this one.. no point in saying much more than what's already said
NOTE : If you haev ANY CONTACT with H at this point you UNDO all teh work your friend did to setup no contact for you... you hurt your FRIEND when you break no contact at this point.. stick to it.. ZERO replies to phone, email, text, etc
Another thing I forgot to mention. It's his dad's 70 bday party on Sat and my H asked me if I was going. I said NO, and he was annoyed. What the hell does he expect me to do, come to all the family parties.
Oh, and to answer that question...
YES, he DOES
He wants to LIE, CHEAT, and ABANDON his family with NO CONSEQUENCES
Affairs (or what's left of his, i think you have done a godo job of making his nice little fantasy quite a mess at this point) are about fantaties, NOT reality.
In his fantasy world, he has his lover, YOU are his best friend, his family loves him, and his entire family think he's the cats ass...
This IS where his HEAD is at.. seriously.. and when YOU challenge that, it UPSETS him... so he shuts you out.
mb good job on NC! I now think you should not go to the party.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Seen H last night for just a few minutes when I got home from school. I walked in and didn't say a word to him, just went about my business getting ready for bed. As he was leaving he said "See ya", I didn't reply, so he said "Hey, see ya later" I just said "Uha".
In the middle of the night I get a text from his mom, saying that my H's sister is planning on going back to her abusive H. And then his other sister called me to tell me how upset she was about the one sister going back. Then she started to ask me about what was going on with me and my H. I told her everything I know about this OW, and all the evidence I had that pointed to an A. She was shocked and so mad at her brother. When we first split up, she is the sister that was totally on my H's side. And saying there is no way her brother would ever cheat. Well now she believes he is cheating. The nice thing about exposing to her, is that she is the big mouth in the family. So I'm sure she will be on the phone today telling everyone what I told her.
I am such an angry state right, I want NOTHING to do with my H. He is still talking to OW and going and seeing her every night.
My D has an appt today to get a tooth pulled. And instead of me calling my H to let him know, I told MIL to tell him.
Other then the few min last night, this will be day 2 of NC.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
1. Good call on exposing to his sister... I say expose to anyone who may influence the affair twoards its end.
2. I woudln't even give the tooth pull info to your mom, its NOT am emergency... ONLY tell your H what he MUST know... because when yoru mom tells your H, she will just tell him that you told her to tell you, yada yada.. so your H will think you are still talking to him see?
3. Don't feel obligated to say goodbye if you run into himi... he pressured you into replying.. SILENT TREATMENT is the name of this one ok? He WANTED to TEST your no contact and press you to say something to him... do NOT GIVE IN. WALK AWAY if he is pressuring you.
4. Do you have OW's phone number? I think you should give that OUT to all your family who want him to quit cheating.. what do you think? Would your uncle or anyone give her acall and blast her on your behalf?
I do have her phone # and email. My cousin has wanted to call her and keeps asking when I will give her permission to do it. I'm passive when it comes to conflict, so I've not allowed anyone to do it. Plus up until now, I've been so worried about making my poor H even more mad at me. However, I no longer care what he thinks about what I do.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
1. You cheat on your wife and family? 2. You lie and sneak around for months and leave your wife to look after two children whlie you have some sleazy affair? 3. You NOW are threatening to DIVORCE your family? 4. You think divorcing your family is gonig to make a creepy affair look BETTER? 5. If you divorce that woman and those children I will NEVER speak to you again. 6. You should be ashamed of yourself, go apologize to your wife and END your AFFAIR
It is important that in the message if they mention divorce, they describe it as divorcing a family, not just YOU.. divorce affects EVERYONE not just HIM...
HE doens't realise that, he thinks divorcing you will just make HIM feel better.. it is just an escalated affair
Affairs are about making your spouse feel worse and YOU feel better Divorce is about making your spouse feel worse and YOU feel better
Its the same thing see?
If THAT is what they will say on on the phone then i say go for it...
Why not tell your family members to ask Husband for the number of this woman he's "just friends" with.. why don't they just ask him? Is he AFRAID to give the number out for some reason?
I woudl tell them to blast him for the # first.. if he wont give it out, THEN you give it teo them
So if your husband says anything, you just tell him they pressured you for the phone number after they heard you were going to divorce yoru family.
