setting boundaries when not clear if A is over

[newmama]

blownaway, heck no should dads get sole custody of newborns! (no offense dads) the law in my state has gradual increased amounts of visitation. At newborn stage, baby is with mom 24/7. Dad can visit or see the baby I think for 2 hours at a time, 2-3 days per week. I should dig up my plan but I did send it to Flowmom on her old thread.

I think the terms "co-parent" and "parenting plan" are fancy new ways to say "shared custody." You can still have 50-50 or 40-60 etc. split of kids...but there is an agreement and there is a court appointed class on how to deal with your kids and ex after a divorce.

Now, if she wants her H to be bonded to the baby to be his/her father, then H should be a part of the baby's life. Looking back, just visiting a few times a week would have been sufficient.The baby was totally all about mom until around month 3 and then definitely by month 5 he responded to dad.

You are right, blownaway, that it is pretty much impossible to detach when the H is around the baby all the time!

And like I have said, it would have been eaiser if WH was not into S so I could cut him out of my life completely and move on!