Your thread also interests me, and I am happy that you have had a bit of an "awakening"...though I know it is probably not the most comfortable one to have.
The actions you describe: lies, manipulation, cheating, and "bitchiness"- echo those exhibited to me by my WAW. I am fully aware and understanding of the "fog" and as a recovering addict, I too understand doing things that are out of character and w/o much regard for others or for consequences.
I admire your strength in facing things at this point and that you can no longer sit comfortably w/ what you've done.
I highly reccommend seeking an IC to go over your thoughts and to seek out a plan or objective in making an amends.
I agree w/ Big John and others that I find it doubtful that there will be much of a friendship between you and XH...as I am in the same boat w/ my WAW. I don't believe I can bring myself to be friends w/ someone whom has done what she has to me. I will always love her though.
I'd be interested in reading your old posts, are they under the same username? What about your X's?
