and get the 6 pack I always wanted.. Ok ok, its a 1 pack right now.. gotta get to 2 first... lol.
rha cha cha. excellent. Bruce Lee. another situp thread!
Think of it as an all day every day thing. Get some done as the 2nd or 3rd thing you do in the morning. If you are not easily embrassed find someplace at work to blow some out before you eat your lunch. Then at night! Do some sets before your nightly routine then immediately afterwards. If you dont have a training partner, get your kids involved to help you.
Shoot for 5 minutes. 5 sets or 500. situps, ankle wigglys, leg raises, v-ups, bicycles, the plank, remember the ab roller! reverse crunches.
Plus, if that sort of thinking were useful, you wouldn't have so many women posting here who are SATM and having their husbands cheating on them. But here's another way of thinking about it so you can change your actions without getting into gender stereotypes.
I've seen this happen with so many people, that it's something I find hard to believe people don't talk about more. It sounds like at some point, you became passive - not because you didn't have "nuts" - but because you started to abandon your adult responsibilities. If you wife asked where would you like to go to dinner and you told her, where ever you want, that would be great...exactly 50% of the time. But if in most of the times she asked what you wanted to do and you said "you pick, wifey" then she's got all the decision making responsibility.
Or if you asked how should we spend our money or discipline our kids or what movie do you want to watch. A lot of times, I see one spouse letting the other spouse make all the decisions bc they "want to be nice." Being nice is just code for no decision-making. After a while, the "nice" intentions become a burden. Why can't you decide where to go for dinner.
But let me clear. If has nothing to do as a man or woman.
Actually indirectly you are making my point that it has everything to do with being a man, I'll talk more on this later.
In my case, it really helped me to hear from friends who thought I'd be better off divorcing (which is what is happening) but I also listened carefully and deeply considered the advice of friends who said we should work it out. In the end, the decision was made based on me being true to myself: I could not be married to someone who cheated on me.
Ideally you shouldn't ask your friends for advice in this area, they can't be objective, they're your friends, they only want you to be happy so they'll take the quickest route to that and agree with your feelings which you are in love with (relatively speaking). You also considered advice from friends that said you should work it out, but your feelings were already focused on the idea of divorcing your husband, the friends that told you to work it out didn't agree with your feelings so you rejected their ideas because they weren't in line with your own.
In the end you say your decision was made by you but if you had friends supporting your decision, it definitely assisted you with the decision making process.
The only thing is that your friends don't have to live with you or your husband or your children, they don't have those responsibilities, they only get the good parts of you.
how many times do you go to your friends and they beat you up, call names, hurt you, make fun of you in a mean way, steal from you, use you, abuse you?
If your friends are like mine, my friends never do this.
(btw if you do have friends like this, drop them, just my 0.02 cents)
Your friends are your friends because they enjoy your company, they enjoy the good parts of you, going out, staying in, having fun, drinks, dinner, movies, activities, birthdays, party's, holidays, vacations, christmas, new years, the beach, the lake, the cottage, fishing, you name it....etc. etc. etc.
Friends will always agree with your feelings if that means you will be happy. Some friends will be somewhat objective but not to the point of harming their friendship with you, in the end, they want to make you happy and will do that the quickest way possible: agreeing, empathizing, sympathizing, etc.
Plus, if that sort of thinking were useful, you wouldn't have so many women posting here who are SATM and having their husbands cheating on them. But here's another way of thinking about it so you can change your actions without getting into gender stereotypes.
I've seen this happen with so many people, that it's something I find hard to believe people don't talk about more. It sounds like at some point, you became passive - not because you didn't have "nuts" - but because you started to abandon your adult responsibilities. If you wife asked where would you like to go to dinner and you told her, where ever you want, that would be great...exactly 50% of the time. But if in most of the times she asked what you wanted to do and you said "you pick, wifey" then she's got all the decision making responsibility.
Or if you asked how should we spend our money or discipline our kids or what movie do you want to watch. A lot of times, I see one spouse letting the other spouse make all the decisions bc they "want to be nice." Being nice is just code for no decision-making. After a while, the "nice" intentions become a burden. Why can't you decide where to go for dinner.
But let me clear. If has nothing to do as a man or woman.
Actually indirectly you are making my point that it has everything to do with being a man, I'll talk more on this later.
In a nutshell it has everything to do with Cesco being a man and his wife being a woman.
Being a man doesn't mean being a caveman or a gorilla, KS when you mentioned that you showed me that you didn't understand what I was talking about and made assumptions based on what you think I was talking about.
Women want a man that will value himself just as much as he values her. I can tell by reading several of cesco's posts, that he's trying to prove his worth to her, trying to do this, trying to do that, all with little to no success. It's the trying the communicates via his body language that he's not good enough for her - my advice is to stop trying, it conveys that she has more value than he does and human nature dictates that we respond to value, we pursue things we want plain & simple.
KS I'm going to touch on something you mentioned briefly, the part about if his wife asked him where he wanted to go for dinner or what he wanted to do on a specific night and he responded "whatever or you can pick, it doesn't matter to me" or something along those lines.
You may not know it (but you do now), this is a masculine trait that women are attracted to. Just because you don't see it as something that has to do with masculinity doesn't make it any less so. It's called displaying leadership ability instead of acting like a little puppy dog that follows you home because you showed it some attention. Yes leadership is a masculine trait that sparks attraction on a subconscious level, regardless if you want to believe this or not. Women don't always want to make every decision, at the very least they want you to partner with them when making a decision. Not having a plan or opinion is an attraction killer between men & women, women are attracted to men that have these masculine traits and display it. It doesn't mean being an a$$hole or a prick and saying "this is what we're doing bitch and that's final" (because that would just be stupid), it means having a plan, having an opinion, expressing your idea about what you want to do, that's attractive, doing the opposite is an attraction killer. "I don't care, as long you're happy, I'll do what you want to do, doesn't matter to me", etc. this kills attraction - and yes this is a MAN & WOMAN attraction thing.
Self-Assurance, Self Respect.... another MAN & WOMAN attraction thing for lack of better terminology. Women don't want a doormat for a Man. Someone who is assured of his beliefs and opinions, someone who doesn't compromise his values just to make the women in their lives "happy" (because that doesn't work as evidenced by all the users on these forums) and make them like them more. As soon as you start compromising who you are and allow a woman to push past all your boundaries, disrespect will soon follow - it's as clear cut as 2+2=4, I $hit you not! Women don't want a puppy dog who will do everything they say and every trick and jump through hoops, they want a real MAN with his own opinions, beliefs and self-respect to stand up for themselves and maintain boundaries that won't allow people to disrespect them. Boundaries are essential for people to respect you, without them, expect people to walk all over you especially the women in your lives - again don't misconstrue this as having to be an a$$hole, a prick or caveman - it's disrespectful to even associate being a man with being a caveman.
As for the part about abandoning your adult responsibilities and that killing attraction, I don't buy it, at least not to the extent that you promote it KS. Read Cesco's posts, the guy works from home, drops & picks up the kids from school, probably maintains the house, does the lion's share of the household chores and cooks dinner for his family regularly/daily - did he abandon his adult responsibilities, if anything he does the opposite. Adult responsibilities didn't factor into the equation when Cesco and his wife first started seeing each other, doing the boyfriend/girlfriend dating thing - it's not what killed the attraction in this relationship either.
So let me be clear on the points you raised, it has EVERYTHING to do with being a MAN or a WOMAN. We're all men & women, the sooner we acknowledge this and the forces that cause people to enter relationships and the same forces that cause people to leave relationships, the sooner we'll be able to resolve these issues and move on with life.
Tell me I'm wrong in my points above, heck I look forward to it ;-)
I've seen this happen with so many people, that it's something I find hard to believe people don't talk about more. It sounds like at some point, you became passive - not because you didn't have "nuts" - but [b]because you started to abandon your adult responsibilities. [/b]
replace "adult" with "male" in the statement above and then it's accurate.
If "gender stereotypes" didn't apply here as KS puts it, then it would make no difference which partner displayed these leadership traits, think about it and we wouldn't even be having this discussion, as long as one of you did this it would be fine.
Cesco over time you did become more passive, I'll agree with KS on that point, she just doesn't understand the implications that had for your relationship with your wife.
Men and Women are different, they are not the same. Instead of turning a blind eye to that difference and labeling these ideas as crap and gender stereotypes, we need to acknowledge the differences, understand them and then make the changes necessary to improve our own lives going forward.
