Question

[awest1217]

Yes, I do sleep. It was 6 am in Indiana when I posted. I get up at 5:45 am every morning to get myself and S ready for the day because I have to be at work by 7:30 and I like to get here a little before that. This is why I am in bed by 9 pm. Early but I need my sleep.

I agree K. I am sure H is going to do that, but I have made it very black and white for him. He comes home and works on us or he moves someplace else and we don't. Even if it is his parents, it has been a year of separation and if he doesn't know by now what he wants in life...too bad. I deserve to move on with my life without the constant worry he is going to pop up at some time to ruin everything. I am hoping the clear cut come home or not leaves no room for the ambiguity I have faced for the past year. He has to decide because "I don't know" doesn't work in this sitch. Either home or not, there is no in between here.

Still no contact and I am wondering if I should contact him tonight to ask if he has made a decision. I know I shouldn't and I am going to keep myself busy tonight to keep from contacting him. I need to go grocery shopping so I am going to do that, then tomorrow is a church night so no worries there, Friday we have a special youth rally so I will be going to that (maybe pizza if my in-laws call, but who knows), and Saturday he will either be moving home or not so that will be that. I am not going to be the one to break the silence.

Either choice is going to be hard. That is the bad part of these sitches. There isn't a "right" or "easy" answer. He says he wants to come home and we have to work on rebuilding trust, which with the text last week...I don't know if that is possible. If he says, I don't want to come home, I am going to be going through a divorce and one day he wants everything while the next he wants nothing and to move out of the state so it is going to be hard there as well. At least I won't be on this wheel anymore. Once I know also I can file the taxes and get my tax return. Depending on how much I get back, I have my eye on a new dress for easter that I would need a cardigan and shoes for, plus painting S's room, nad a few other things.

We will see.