Good thing you are not holding your breath. You would be blue in the face by now.
Just because they threaten doesn't mean they'll carry through..they'd rather NOT be the "bad guy"...He would rather YOU carry it through, and since you're not going to do that, that I know of...I don't look for him to carry it through..but then again, I could be wrong, have been before. LOL!!
OP is right; it is only a piece of paper, but most people view it as the end of the world.
I can just HEAR IT now from the "Powers that "think" they be"(LOL!!)..."You never had to deal with that, so, how would you know?"
Well, I have dealt with many who've actually gone through it, and the shock and pain is the same...devastating to many. A feeling they've "failed" when that is NOT true.
No one can control what someone else is going to do, it doesn't matter if we'd done it ALL right, things could STILL happen out of our control.
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OP- I know, I know...I keep telling myself that! I do look good in blue though! lol
I'm glad you can joke about it, though, CW. I'm praying your husband will "see the light" and NOT that of an oncoming train, but a light that will begin to lead him out and back to you.
I STILL say you're a strong lady. And such a sweet one, too.
Have a great evening.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
I crashed last night at 9pm! Have been on here reading so late the last few nights...it really does help but it took it's toll! Slept like a log!
I have read many stories where D was filed but never happened! Thanks to you and OP for reminding me that it is just a piece of paper and also for the prayers! I keep praying he will see the light too!
And...thanks for saying this!
I STILL say you're a strong lady. And such a sweet one, too.
Hope you have a great day and safe driving if you are on the road!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I have a question for anyone! Ran into my neighbor today at the post office. She has emailed me a couple of times asking what she can do to help, or if I want to talk or whatever to call her. She is the one whose H went thru his own MLC about 10yrs ago. They are very respected people in our town, very active in the Catholic Church, very giving to the community and she also went thru breast cancer last year! So, she said that her and her H have talked wondering if they should reach out to my H and try to talk to him....I told her I just didn't know if it would help. My H does respect both them a lot...I cannot control whatever they decide to do but could discourage them if I needed to...
Went to parent/teacher conferences tonight and am discouraged! I really had to control myself to not break down in front of S14 when I got home talking to him about his grades...thinking the ADD meds are not working yet! He is going to have to pull it out next quarter if he wants to move on to the next grade! It just sucks that I have to deal with this myself, and who am I kidding because all H would do is yell and threaten anyway, so I would still deal with it myself but wish to have the support! Just venting!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
When I was going thru cancer, I got a couple of those Willow Tree angels from friends, one of the says HEALING and the other one is HOPE!!! I keep both of those words in my mind at all times!
As for being a strong lady! If someone had asked me to describe myself, that would not have been a word I would have thought of myself as. The last 2 1/2 years have really tested that and I guess I am stronger than I know! I HAVE to be! I have 2 kids that are depending on me, pretty much just me! [b][b]I wonder if I didn't have them to think about how strong I would be.[/b][/b]
CW I am so choked up having read this- you are a humble woman!
You asked me to send optimism your way so when I came to catch up on your thread, I was expecting to read something bad happened with H and his L! Instead, you sound good!
Don't you think that after you beat cancer, you can overcome any obstacle? I wouldn't know but that is what I see in cancer survivors- you are WARRIORS! For I have read that you must have a positive mental outlook in addition to the medical intervention. Is this true?
Oh and I have another word that you might want to include with HOPE and HEALING...it helps me every day! BELIEVE (because sometimes I think I am the only one who BELIEVES that R is possible!)
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I saw your question, CW, have to think about that; just checked in on you. Will see you tomorrow for sure.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
SA: "they will make up their own stories about your sitch anyway" Amen!
I find that my WAS has completely rewritten our history and is actively seeking out old guy friends who never even knew us during out time together...the better to validate their story and their actions...
confusedwife: Worrying about what others think & say only takes your focus off of YOU...same goes for worrying about what he does & says...
CW: "I am thankful that I don't seem to have all the drama that many of these posters seem to have with their spouses! Sometimes I wish that we had more contact but see from reading other's posts that the n/c thing seems to be a good thing!" You are indeed lucky that the drama in your sitch is minimized...mine has been full throttle since last spring (with a few pauses when he fought it and 'came back' here & there until the ultimate WAS). It's been at such a fever pitch lately that we both agreed to NC until the end of the month yeasterday. Think of it as giving yourself time to breathe, work on YOU, and do the things that you want/need to do (like remove the wallpaper, cry when you need to, connect with friends and family and GAL). That's what I'm trying to do and it seems to be lessening the pain a bit...
SH
Me 42 H39 M 10 years, T 12.75 years MLC began spring 2009 ILYBNILWY 1/18/10 WAS 2/5/10 EA revealed 3/6/10 EA ended (by her) 3/7/10 M - DOA...but working on getting disentangled.
I don't recommend talking about it with anyone. Why? Because other than here, most people are to close to the situation. So their opinions become a distraction...they mean well, but in the end all conversations end up revolving around the situation instead of natural banter.
It does seem counter-intuitive to step away from your support network....but it also helps you stand on your own. It also pulls unneeded pressure off of your husband....he has enough of that already.
