How are you? My life really is moving in a positive direction, although it's just so darn slow. Sure, I'm struggling, but that's what life is all about... well, at least mine is.
I guess I need to choose ONE direction and take the steps I need. It just seems whenever I do, another boot drops, and I feel trapped or forced to start all over. I need to keep facing forward regardless, instead of looking back and trying to learn from my mistakes. Unfortunately, when I do so, I begin to focus on the mistakes in my life, instead of what I've learned. I do feel at times, there is something I missed, that will give me what it is I'm looking for...
Sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it?
I guess I feel at one point I had the world in my hand, and somewhere I dropped it. Oh, it's been a while, a long while since I've had the feeling of owning my life and the world that surrounds me... I do recognize I have the gift of survival, but I'm done with just surviving, and I want to begin to live my life, my way, and begin to enjoy myself and living again.
The people at work are trying to build my confidence, get me to relax a bit, to feel more comfortable with what I'm capable of or who I am. I guess I haven't had the time or desire to sit and remember who I am or what I'm capable of. At one point I did have a few talents, could do whatever I set my mind to... but those days seem so far off.
The key is within me.... as it is I who will have to unlock the chains that bind me.
