That my friend is PROGRESS... because you DIDN't PUSH her to talk to you... you waited for her to decide to tell you...
if you had cornered her and tried to DRAG that out of her you would have done damage. Because you gave her space she offered it to you.
OIN I really am getting tired of saying this.. but you have
GOT TO STOP TAKING WHAT SHE TELLS YOU SERIOUSLY..
She told you she would see a FT, so FIND one.. I told you days ago to start finding one.. do it.
I dont CARE if she said or gave you the impression she woudln't go... YOU GO
STOP ANALYZING her.. you are HANGING on EVERY DAMN EYE BLINK she makes... you are going to give yourself an ULCER
You know. I BET my HOUSE she can FEEL all this pressure from you watching every move she makes and worrying about it.. she likley feels SO MUCH PRESSURE AND SO DAMN CONTROLLED RIGHT NOW SHE WANTS TO SCREAM
YOU need to BACK OFF and LET HER BREATHE
STOP WORRYING about the NEGATIVE STUFF SHES DOING
JUST help her.
Every time she says or does something discouraging YOU panic.... SHE can SENSE that.. you are FEEDING HER NEGATIVE MOOD with your PANIC
I am NOT telling yuo to DANCE around teh HOSUE, but you NEED to BACK OFF and give her some positive energey.... don't say a word to her, but you need to relax
You are doing a FANTASTIC JOB dealing with this affair.. you got OM backing off and you aer right in there on that... I can't RAVE ENOUGH about how well you are putting that affair down... you are doing a MODEL job of that
BUT.. you need to back off your wife and stop getting worked up over her negative outbursts OK?
YOu need to CHILL OUT when she gets negative... you are MAKING HER STRESSED OUT I can FEEL IT FROM HERE
Back off of her, relax...
As soon as she said she would talk to a FT, you should have just said OK and left the room... but you DOVE RIGHT ON IT and asked if she wanted together or separate... AGAIN you are pursuing...
YOU did NOT need to know that right away... you should have backed up right away and let her breathe but you pounced on her because she sugested she would see a FT
You need to BACK OFF...
YOU need to see one FIRST and set an example, but you are in a HURRY to get HER in there... do NOT DO THAT
I have said this before and I will say it again... you CANNOT TRUST your FAMILY THERAPIST BLINDLY..
YOU need to go FIRST and interview them to make SURE they aren't going to RUIN YOUR MARRIAGE...
MANY FT's do DAMAGE rather than help
if you push your WIFE in there FIRST you are headed for TROUBLE
YOu are a COP, you should know better than pushign someone ELSE FIREST
YOU GO FIRST to make sure its SAFE
back off the wife, keep in contact with OMW so she feels safe and can work on her marriage and trust her H, and get to a FT... give your wife some space
If she talks, that's fine, but do NOT FOLLOW UP on EVERYTHING she says immediately.. you JUMPED on it right away... WHY
WHY did you NEED to know separate FT or together.. why did you have to push on that?
All you had to do was say "OK GREAT" and back off when she agreed to FT
You pushed her man.. you have GOT to STOP DOING THAT
MAN you are gonna drive your wife away smothering her... give her some space
if she wants a FT, you find her a good one, give her the biz card and then YOU let HER make her OWN appointments when SHE wants to do it... do NOT ORGANIZE teh whole thing
NOW.. she MAY ASK you to, THAT is fine, but you are getting too close here... ok?
