Thanks Grit I will take a look at your new post in MLC. I am so nervous about starting MC. I feel like this is the last resort. I am so concerned about so many things. Does the MC favor marriage? Is my H ready for MC? Am I ready for MC? Are we forcing things along? Is the MC going to tell me that this is all hopeless? I don't know if I am ready for all of this. I guess I have been doing so well because there is still hope.
I really would love to see some improvement in him but we really aren't speaking. I don't want to pursue him. I am anticipating he is going through withdrawal (if indeed he ended the A like he said he did). He was supposed to see his IC last week but I haven't heard any updates from him. How does he go from acting like a teenager to a man in one week?
A week ago today...he came to the house and told me for an hour how he wanted to work things out...but then I don't hear much from him the rest of the week. Always mixed messages but I don't want to ask. I am not sure I want to hear what he has to say and I also cannot believe a word he says.
I am feeling very good..which is good and bad. I forgot to where my wedding (decoy) ring to work the past two days. I didn't realize until I got there. I am just feeling pretty upbeat and starting to feel detached...but at the same time.. I will wake up in the middle of the night and remember that my life is in shambles right now and I feel terrible. My emotions are so extreme still.
I guess I haven't pulled the trigger for this very reason. I do not feel the same for more than 24 hours straight!!!
