Male depression is so confusing. It is hard to sympathize with a depressed man. They typically aren't crying in the corner.. they are acting like me with the worst PMS X 10000. Moody, irritable, irrational, nasty, unpredictable.... Just a b*st*rd. My H is high functioning. He just isn't happy. He now says things like "I am not sure I believe in marriage".."look around..who do you see married that is happy". He also said that he got bored of his life and asked if I ever get bored with my life...you know.. "the house, the nice cars, sunday bbq's, dinner with friends....don't you ever want something different?".
Bored of what...life?? Because this is what life is. Life is not running around like a 16 year old in heat... Lying to your bosses and risking your career...not speaking to your friends and family....Growing your hair long when you are almost 40 and a professional... and the list goes on and on. Life is mundane!!!! But the secret to life is enjoying the mundane..day to day stuff..having a job, spending time with friends, working around the house, having a good cup of coffee...Not carrying on a secret A in parking lots and parked cars.... Not reality!!!
I just don't know how or when the fog lifts. So it is really important to stay out of the crossfire. And as hard as this is....try not to take everything personally. It is so very difficult because you are the "reason" for all their pain and unhappiness. Although my separation hasn't been easy...I have never felt more relaxed. I don't need to walk on eggshells anymore. Perhaps your H being at his mother's during this time is really a good thing. Gives you time to concentrate on you..and time for him to sort things out??? I think it offers you/us an opportunity to see things clearly and figure out what we want. It is so easy to get wrapped in their crazy behavior and lose ourselves. At one point, I wasn't sure who I was anymore. I have more clarity.
