How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

OK here is what just happened.

OMW calls while OM on the line. My W had me answer and put on speaker.

I told OMW that phone was on speaker and I wanted to keep nothing from my W. OMW spoke more to my W than me but express her feelings about the situation and under no circumstance does communication continue. I agreed and my wife said she understood. OM then got on the line and said all communication must stop, he got himself into some thing he did not intend to, that he was there to listen but did not realize my W had became so attached and for the sake of his marriage, his family and everyone involved insanity ALL communication must stop.

OMW got on the line again and spoke directly to my wife while still on speaker phone and said "You have a husband, I know you have your problems and you need to work on them with him, talk to him, not my husband and not any other male" My W just responded with words such as "understood" "I agree" and "I can take care of myself.

When we ended the call with the understanding and agreement ALL communication stops my W began to express her frustration with the way I treated her in the past and that I know she has trust issues and found someone she could speak to and finally get "10 years of pain out." I told her "I offered in the past and offer again, when can find a FT to talk to" She said "OK" I asked "want to go together or separate" she said "separate"

My W said she is sorry it was another male but I have to understand what I put her through. She started to laugh a little and said "If I don't laugh I will cry" I told her not to mask her feelings. My W then stood up and started to cry and said "I never knew talking to someone would create such an issue."

Now my wife has not showed such emotion to me other than anger in a long time. She then hugged me and cried. For 30 secs she hugged me and cried....then she pulled away and said "you know what I can hold it in, I held it in for 10 years I can continue to do so, I dont need anyone I've been by myself for 24 years and I guess I can live the rest of my life the same"

Now she seems to be against the FT thing and has shut everything out once again.

I realized this would go in bad cycle I then began to talk about our dog and brought the dog in the room and we joked and laughed about the puppy.

After we spoke briefly about the whole OM/OMW thing then went back into general convo and now she is in bed.

A lot to process where do I go from here....