flowmom | need to commit to myself

[flowmom]

Thanks for coming over here H4L. I really appreciate it.

It may seem like a trivial decision, but actually stuff like this is the stuff of my life and has been for years. What all of you have written is shifting how I am thinking about things like this.

I told my IC yesterday that what I need to do is to stand on my own two feet and take care of myself...because no one else will. I guess it is time to start now. I see that not solving the problems of how to have vacations with the children or do work events like this just continues the dependence that I have on H. Yes, I am entitled to ask him to do coparenting things, but I need to disengage from that as much as possible...for me. I need to prove to myself that I don't need him. And he will have to judge for himself how much the children need him.

I am going to plan B on this one...try to figure out how to make it work without H.

Also, I just realized that he would have to take 3 weekend shifts off to take care of the kids...and he would feel resentful about that. So I think I will take them with me and try to find someone to accompany us.