When you first find yourself here.

[Bworl]

I'm back to posting a bit more than before mostly because of the chaos that I keep finding in Newcomers.

When I first came here, I started out in Newcomers. If some of the more experienced folk hadn't come along and reached out to me, I'm not sure how long it would have taken me to fix my focus.

There's just too much pain and confusion in our lives when our spouse tells us they are done. Too much.

Those folks over there need someone reaching out to them, helping them to get their feet under themselves, helping them to make some sense of what is happening and how to begin to survive it.


I learned here, in some cases from some of you, that there is little that you can do initially to help your situation...but there is LOTS you can do to do it further damage. That's what worries me about over there right now. Person after person is arriving shell-shocked and being told a) that their spouse is probably having an affair, and b) that they should tell them to stop the affair or get out.


All that kind of advice does is place both the burden and the focus on the wandering spouse.


It's a shame.