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Another no show for visit. He had a class to attend for work tonight but decided not to tell me until 4:30 this afternoon. A gf's exh also works at the same company and she said they knew about this class weeks ago. Would it have hurt to tell me before right in the middle of his actual visit time that he wasn't coming? Oh well, bite my tongue.


Me: 46 FWS: 36
Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07
Baby Girl born 3/08
Kicked him out because OW: 7/08
5/10 He realized what he had and lost.
Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
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Does anyone know what happens to baby if something were to happen to me? My guess would be that she would go with exh. We have joint legal custody, but I have physical custody. In a normal world that would be acceptable, but exh is far from healthy or safe and seems the pattern is getting worse. I have an email into my attorney to ask that question or set up some conditions to where at least the court will investigate to make sure he is fit to be a parent to her. My older girls both would be willing to take baby and raise her if exh is not fit.

Just wondering if anyone had any insight.


Me: 46 FWS: 36
Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07
Baby Girl born 3/08
Kicked him out because OW: 7/08
5/10 He realized what he had and lost.
Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
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Your will should state CLEARLY what happens. If you don't have one, you need to get one. Make sure your lawyer is up on estate planning.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
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Originally Posted By: Drew
Your will should state CLEARLY what happens. If you don't have one, you need to get one. Make sure your lawyer is up on estate planning.


I thought about that...haven't heard back from attorney yet. I am panicking! From what I have read in most cases, because the court awarded joint LEGAL custody she would go with exh. I am really hoping I can do something about that. At the very least have the court make sure he is sober and fit!

I am terrified!


Me: 46 FWS: 36
Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07
Baby Girl born 3/08
Kicked him out because OW: 7/08
5/10 He realized what he had and lost.
Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
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Now, don't get all worked up until you have the facts.

What does your settlement say?


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Originally Posted By: Drew
Now, don't get all worked up until you have the facts.

What does your settlement say?


Our orders say that exh and I have joint legal with physical custody to me. He has supervised visits in my home. Nothing else regarding custody or what happens to baby if something happens to me.


Me: 46 FWS: 36
Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07
Baby Girl born 3/08
Kicked him out because OW: 7/08
5/10 He realized what he had and lost.
Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
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Hmmm, upon closer inspection, neither does mine .......


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your exh would get custody of the baby. the court may order some classes or some supervision but otherwise he would have custody.

My exh who hasn't seen our boys in 10 years would get custody of my boys if anything were to happen to me. Well...if the court could find him. grin

any custodial arrangement where the child would not go to the other biological parent will be tricky to draft (according to the attornies that I spoke with) since custody is legally 50% theirs (unless they are incarcerated...no custodial rights then)

you can set up a will however, since you are merely the sole PHYSICAL guardian, it is unlikely that anything that named them not sole guardian in the event of your death would be upheld.

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Originally Posted By: figgeroni
your exh would get custody of the baby. the court may order some classes or some supervision but otherwise he would have custody.

My exh who hasn't seen our boys in 10 years would get custody of my boys if anything were to happen to me. Well...if the court could find him. grin

any custodial arrangement where the child would not go to the other biological parent will be tricky to draft (according to the attornies that I spoke with) since custody is legally 50% theirs (unless they are incarcerated...no custodial rights then)

you can set up a will however, since you are merely the sole PHYSICAL guardian, it is unlikely that anything that named them not sole guardian in the event of your death would be upheld.



That is what I was afraid of. Thanks for the info.


Me: 46 FWS: 36
Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07
Baby Girl born 3/08
Kicked him out because OW: 7/08
5/10 He realized what he had and lost.
Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
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wouldn't though, if he can only have supervised visits, he would be unable to have UNsupervised visits therefore not be able by courts previous orders, to have full custody...I mean, how can he get 24x7 supervised visits, who would or could do that?

but, I would still get a will in place for sure. that was good thinking on your part SO2. just try not to worry about it, have faith that God is keeping her protected, and that includes you too.


Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006
H erased OW off phone! 2/2007

"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
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