How (and who) to expose if OP is not married

[4luv]

I just got my from my first appointment with FT and I made another appointment with him.

He had a lot of the books that are mentioned on this board in his office including Not Just Friends and he had divorce busting. He said that he is promarriage because many people don't really realize the impact and consequences of divorce until it is too late. I asked him the questions that I had including:

1. What does he do when one the cheating spouse won't even acknowledge the affair
2. What does he do when the cheating spouse (CS) won't agree to NC even if there is a child involved.

He answered question #1 saying that a couple has to come to a consensus of what has occurred. He said without this consensus work on the marriage CANNOT actually happen. If both spouses don't agree with the event that establishes the first mutual agreement (I am not explaining this all the way but you get the gist).

QUestion #2...He said that if the CS won't agree to NC then that says alot about the commitment to reconcile. He said trust can be rebuilt with the CS not cutting off all contact but it is an uphill battle. He said he has seen cases where the OW/OM might be the next door neighbor or a coworker or even a SIL and it makes complete NC difficult. He recommends that the CS quit their job, move, etc but if it is not possible he can work with the couple but odds are against them fully recovering and building trust. HE said in the case of having a child involved he recommends an intermediary and if that is not possible he went as drastic as saying you would have to cut out contact with the child at a young age until the child gets old enough to contact the child directly without involvement of other parent. (I feel that this is too drastic and punishes the child unfairly).

BTW, husband has called me a total of 10 times so far. He doesn't take well to NC. I did schedule another appt with this FT.