When you first find yourself here.

[SoCo]

Hmmm... well, I think a lot of this depends on personalities. I think when we first come here, hurting and raw, that we seek out those we can relate to and that seem similar in personality.

The very first thing that I found that was beneficial to me on this board was the whole idea that I was not alone in the world on this crazy ride. JUST that alone, some companionship and knowing that others were in the same boat, helped me to start healing slowly. I for one felt a huge sense of isolation like I was alone on this drifting raft just struggling to stay above water. Truly, people do not understand this experience unless they have been there. Friends, family, nobody "gets" it unless they have walked this path. Just finding a group of people that "get it" helps tremendously.

I think everyone has different needs that are met through this board. Mine were (are) companionship, understanding, some good advice, and the occasional clonk in the head to think of things from another perspective.

I don't think we can make a blanket statement about anyone or anything going on here. I am a big believer in each person being an individual with his/her own personality and different needs. Maybe that comes from my career background, cuz I see that so much with my at risk students. People are alike in so many ways, yet we have to understand what makes them tick may be very different.

I do know that I think that my healing was sped up and helped tremendously by having this site. I also know that some people here helped calm me down when I needed it, see other perspectives, not be so damm stubborn, and many other things. SOOO, I would say for me it was more about the personality aspects.

If it weren't for B, Jack, trapt, mach, and a few others that were there in the beginning for me, I might still be spinning around like a really angry, stubborn, I'm right about everything top over a year later.

So, I say to each his own. Whatever needs this site meets for you as long as you learn and grow from it then it's all good!

Correctly though, nobody can spoon feed someone what the right answer is and expect them to learn from it. Helpful advice, yes. BUT we learn by analyzing and doing ourselves. Just as I cannot sit and tell my students the correct answers and expect them to learn, we all have to walk our own path here with a little wise guidance from others.

What helped me the most was having others to lean on when I felt that I could no longer continue down the path and they helped me along.