For newbies, sometimes going to the archives can help you to find a poster that has a similar situation as yourself.
For example, I was never actually served Divorce papers, nor did I ever have to deal with child custody issues or have to cope with my children having to meet with OW.
While I can definately be understanding and sympathetic I do not know what it feels like to have to go through that type of mental torture.
On the other hand, I did have to DB long distance for several years and raise my children on my own as well as dealing with a particularly nasty MLC'er.
Hope that made some sense
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.