Gima - Regarding telling the kids..please keep one thing in mind..while this is not your decision to break up the family it is also not your time to make your W look bad. It is your time to help the kids through one of the most traumatic moments of their life. It is your job to help them handle that.
At first they may not even believe you when you guys tell them. Then they will start to sense that it is real. And when it settles in they are going to be asking questions and start to become very affected. They need you to be very strong. Concentrate on them and be the strong parent that they need you to be. One that is above all the crap your W is slinging around. You're a great man and a great Dad. This is just another time that you will need to put them before yourself. It is hard. You will sit there and want to point a big number one finger at her. But that attitude will put the kids right smack in the middle of it which is the last thing you want to do.
My suggestion is that you obviously be present during the talk. But don't worry so much about who takes ownership of this decision to break up the family. Over time the kids will figure all of that out on their own. And they will grow closer to you as they understand just how well you handled it. Your purpose of being present is to try and make them understand that they are still loved unconditionally by their parents and that you will do the best you can to disrupt their life as little as possible, and that no matter where you are, they are the most important thing in your life.
When Coach advises you to lead through this, this is what I think he is referring to.
Just another stretch on the road of Strength and Honor.
Oh yeah..and you can handle it.
Mules
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
