This is my post from January 19, 2010 under newcomers:
...
...
...
So, that leaves me in a weird place. Usually people on this site try to bust up the affair but I have no affair to bust up because he has come clean (for the most part) about everything.
Simply admitting to cheating does not end the affair.. it can if there is remose, but I don't believe there is any here.
This is a bit of a semantic issue, but I would not refer to admitting an affair as "coming clean"... to my mind he isnt' "clean" until the affair is OVER and CLOSED and he is NOT in CONTACT anymore.
Many affairs on this forum are OPEN in the sense that both spouses know the affair is happening, but the WS refuses to END the affair.
Getting clean in terms of an addiction means FREEING oneself of that addiction... this is in most cases the aim of this forum's members...
Freeding the addiction from the marriage and then making a sincere effort to rebuild.
