David, I'm glad you decided to come here for advice b/c friends & family are biased and will not always say what you need to hear.
I want to encourage you to not leave your home. If she wants out then she can leave.
I suspect your W is involved in some sort of EA over the Internet. It could be a local person or somebody from her past or a man she's never met.....but I bet she's communicating with some man. I suspect that is why she is suddenly talking about taking a vacation.
Now that she has dropped the bomb, you can expect to see very fast changes take place in her. She will not be the girl you M and you need to prepare yourself for the worst. You cannot treat her the way you have in the past b/c the whole stitch has changed and she is different. You will have to learn new techniques that work in this present stitch.
The worst thing you could do is to pursue her, try to get her to change her mind, and talk about the R. When you panic, you do all the desparate things that make you look weak, clingy, needy, etc. That is not what she wants to see in a man. You need to show confidence and a sense of being able to move ahead and be happy with or without her.
When you speak to her, show politeness but be firm. You can act friendly without pursuing. Treat her with a business-like attitude as if she were a co-worker. Yes it is extremely hard, but it can be done, and you can chose to do what works and might not "seem or feel" right to your emotions......or you can opperate out of your emotions and lose any chance of reconcilation.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
