It's complicated but it's mine #28

[kat727]

Better late than never Karen! I leaped like a crazy woman around the puddles and made it to my car only half way soaked! lol At least it get rid of some of the pollen, yep my allergies are already rearing their ugly heads. Tulips didn't bother me this year but outside was another story.

Maybe I should just start Singing in the Rain and it will become an incredible day.

kat

[kat727]

I had a really emotional night, must be the monthly visitor thing. Anyway, the kids are loud and I can't think. I just start crying and I really don't know the whole crux of what has got me sad all of a sudden. The kids come in checking on me and I tell them that I just need some time alone. Quiet please.

I get on line and talk to my girlfriend whose daughter has this disease that will eventually lead to blindness and organ failure. She was trying to learn how to give her daughter the chemo shots. Made me feel a little more humble and we chatted for a while.

I texted my friend, J a few times. He ends up calling because he knows I am sounding really upset. When I start talking to him everything comes out. Nothing about the divorce because that isn't it. I am crying and he is talking to me slowly, calming me down. He even had me laughing a bit. I am really glad that we are friends and I feel bad too because that is how we were when I first liked flirt guy all those years ago.

It is all so complicated.

kat

[JCJ]

Time of the month is never a good thing! I'm glad that you had someone to talk to though.

[mishka422]

Those monthly mood modification hormones (in place of not so nice words for them!) are a real PITA!

I'm so glad you were able to talk to J and he was able to get you through that. Those down nights are the worst.

Chin up! You survived the rain yesterday and didn't run into any flying monkeys! It's all good now.

What is confusing you? Can you pinpoint it?

[kat727]

I felt ignored. Trying to get some info from K and he didn't get back to me I think is what started it. Then of course hormones, rainy days, no time alone, loud kids and those feelings for flirt guy returning to punch me in the gut.

I have tried to explain the connection that I have with him before but unless you have gone through it, it just doesn't do it justice. I don't mean that in any sort of uppity way, I thought everyone had this. Why on earth should I be so in love with someone I hardly know now? Why do "signs" keep showing that we should be together but don't show the path to get there? Why do I feel what he feels and sometimes know his thoughts? I have tried to push it away, really. then I let my guard down, probably because I eased up while thinking of K, that everything rushes back in. It is like trying to build a dam while the flood waters are still pouring in.

I know what Karen will say, because she has said it hundreds of times before. Believe me Karen, I have tried to put it away, to hide it, you name it. It always comes back.

So I am going on like an idiot. Like I said it's complicated.

kat

[Kalni]

Hey sweets,
I am having really bad days when my hormones get crazy... It sucks. And feeling lonely makes it worse.
Chin up!!
K

[kat727]

Thanks Maria. Today is just a flow over from yesterday. I almost started crying when my boss criticized me! I hate this.

kat

[Gypsy]

Just remember..

Even though it may make you bonkers who isn't allowed to balance on the edge of wackiness when six hormones are doing their job..

Gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH)
Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH)
Luteinizing hormone (LH)
Estrogen
Progesterone
Testosterone

My personal favorite is estrogen.. it's a beautiful thing.

And look at guys.. Two (2!) frickin' hormones.. estrogen and testosterone. Of course, they're probably the ones who came up with the term PMS.. no doubt to survive the understandable fluctuations in a woman's body and moods.

Sometimes the hormones just aren't being your friends and make that cotton mind candy of 'what if' and 'by the way I suck.' (Crap.. did that come out wrong?!?)

Rejoice in being a woman.. roar a la Helen Reddy and kick that pea brained yoyo out of your mind. C'mon.. I mean really.. does he even know how to dress himself?

*hugs*

[kat727]

Thanks for making me laugh! I would love to just feel okay, though right now I just feel like crying and going to bed. I know it is more than hormones but they certainly don't make it any better!

Not sure which pea-brained yoyo I am supposed to be knocking out of my head...there are so many. lol

Thanks for stopping by.

kat

[MichelleLT]

(((kat))) Hang in there. Things will look up soon.