feel like giving up - pt 2

[luvless]

ST - I get what you are saying and understand you are coming from a different and outside prospective. I'm just trying to give you mine so you can advise me the best way possible.

All my friends think my H is a jerk and I shouldn't be with him - it's always been that way. I've even had strangers come up to me throughout the years and say, "why are you with that guy?" It's hard to admit to myself I married a man who has always been shady.

I am trying hard here..putting up with his affair goes against everything about me and I don't even know why I'm here sometimes. It's only 3 1/2 months so I am learning...thinking....grieving...sh*t...I'm so confused at times.

So maybe this is just a vent - I don't want to sound wishy washy but I am feeling a little defeated at the moment.

Yesterday he came home at regular time - this is the 3rd day in a row - ow must be out on a bank closing...so as for reconnecting...not sure about that - he really didn't talk to me at all when he got home and he slept on the couch. I was curious to see if he'd come to bed but he didn't. That tells me alot.

I found myself angry at him this morning so I decided to do a nice thing for him and make his lunch while he showered. He said, thanks and left.

Can you tell I'm not feeling very positive this morning? I guess I'm just a little pissed but I'll snap out of it.

Thank you ST - for your valuable time - I can only hope to be as loving and patient as you are.