It's complicated but it's mine #28

[kat727]

I felt ignored. Trying to get some info from K and he didn't get back to me I think is what started it. Then of course hormones, rainy days, no time alone, loud kids and those feelings for flirt guy returning to punch me in the gut.

I have tried to explain the connection that I have with him before but unless you have gone through it, it just doesn't do it justice. I don't mean that in any sort of uppity way, I thought everyone had this. Why on earth should I be so in love with someone I hardly know now? Why do "signs" keep showing that we should be together but don't show the path to get there? Why do I feel what he feels and sometimes know his thoughts? I have tried to push it away, really. then I let my guard down, probably because I eased up while thinking of K, that everything rushes back in. It is like trying to build a dam while the flood waters are still pouring in.

I know what Karen will say, because she has said it hundreds of times before. Believe me Karen, I have tried to put it away, to hide it, you name it. It always comes back.

So I am going on like an idiot. Like I said it's complicated.

kat