How can sitting back and letting her do everything for herself improve our situation? All I can think is it will help her see that she CAN do WITHOUT me and bring her closer to leaving quicker.
It's about being Civil and working your 180's...when you R talk- even though you think it will help- you are applying pressure...when you offer hope, it is interpreted as not validating her "feelings" and trying to convince her.
Take her cues- Allen pointed out that the WAW is very flighty during these times- she can chose to pursue you or initiate things w/ you- when she does, do not get hopeful but be even keeled- if she comes and snuggles up w/ you when you are watching a movie- be recptive, and enjoy it- do not ruin it w/ "isnt this nice?, this is the way it should be or would be"
These things all happened to me and I effed it up by getting excited. The next day, I would invite her to lay w/ me and she would turn me down- hot and cold.
So take her cues, but don't force anything or encourage anything- it will seem very unfair, and she may lead you into R talk- remember do less talking than she does and when she does, validate, validate, validate...
It looks so easy now that I'm looking backwards- but it was SO difficult when I was in that sitch
