Let's take it one step further, let's assume that you ask for a chance to talk about your feelings and you get it. How do you talk about feelings?
Feelings are adverbs. I feel happy; I feel lonely; I feel uncomfortable; I feel sick, etc. If you are talking about your feelings it fits into a sentence in that form. On the other hand, if you say, "I feel that....as in, I feel that you were wrong, I feel that things are not good, etc. that is not feelings. Those are thoughts. What you are really saying is "I think you were wrong or I think that things are not good", etc. The test to see if what you are saying is really a feeling is to put it in the sentence form, "I feel ____________." If you don't need to insert the word "that", then you are talking about a feeling.
When you have this discussion you also want to avoid saying such black and white blanket statements as "You always....." or "You never....", because they are usually gross exaggerations. And it is important to talk about the truth, not to exaggerate and make things sound worse than they are. When in doubt, understate, don't overstate.
And the thing about having rules when you talk is, it's best if both people abide by the same rules. So we would hope that she also will talk about feelings and not what she thinks. And also would avoid making blanket statements.
That is how you talk about feelings. If it turns into an argument, then you might say, "I think for now, we have said enough. Let's think about this for a while and then we can talk some more." And you should consider asking her to go with you to counseling to help you put your marriage back on track or to a Retrouvaille weekend where they will teach you how to communicate constructively with each other.
