Husband in Crisis - what do I do?

[Gnosis]

Thank you for replying Des,

I do know that you all have been where I am now.

We've been there, done that and are surviving... some even thriving. So can you!

I have never felt so low or unwanted.

Um, correction... look above and see how wanted you are. Feelings are temporary. They fluctuate from time to time, season to season.

I don't know what I want to do.

Then let us help you find something for you.

For the first time in my life, I am confused, unsure about why this happened, and what the future holds.

Listen to me, we're more or less the same age. We're young. We've only lived maybe half our lives so far. Every ordeal we go through makes us stronger. It shows us that we are not only survivors but thrivers. No one knows what the future holds. Do you know why? Because it is UNWRITTEN. That's fantastic thing about it. Our future is determined by our actions today. We can direct our own future. Pick yourself up my dear and steer your destiny towards life.

I have an apppointment today with my IC.

YES! Good. Talk to your IC. Tell him/her how you feel then come back and tell us what the IC said.

I am not sure what I am going to eventually do

If you will allow me... you are going to pick yourself up and make a choice to live. Not only to live but to live with a purpose. A purpose to enjoy life. If you believe in God, then you must believe that He has a purpose for you. Ask Him to reveal that purpose so that you can start living it. Who knows, maybe your H was distracting you from that, maybe its to teach us a lesson of how fallible be are. We don't know that is why He is God and we are his creations.

I just know that I feel nothing but sadness.

That's understandable. We've all felt it. But if you look above... there are testimonies of many of us who have been there to. Take that as a reassurance that it is only temporary.

You all have strength that I cannot seem to muster right now.

That's fine. Sometimes it's not strength that is required. Sometimes all you need to do is sit back and let the feeling pass. It's not a matter of strength but of patience.

I don't think that my family, the few friends I have, or my my H truly understands what this is doing to me.

Well, then you are a few steps ahead of me. When all this started I had no one to lean on. No one to talk to. Not friends, not family. See? you're better off than I was. And yes, they don't understand what this is doing to you. That's fine. You have friends here who do and are willing to help you. Granted, you're going to get 2x4's up the wazoo from them here... but that's to help keep you on track.

I feel no one listens or wants to do what is right.

Correction. There are many people here who ARE listening. Many of them do not respond to you directly and lurk and read. But they are here and they can relate.

Pick up and use the resources you have at hand. The board, your IC and many others... all you have to do is look for them and be open to opportunities.