Will I ever be forgiven???

[BigJohn]

Mom,

I don't know who your XH is so not familiar with the particulars of your sitch. Speaking from my own perspective as a LBS, the chances are probably very slim that you will ever truly be friends again with your XH given the magnitude of your betrayal not only to your XH but also to your kids. My STBXW has hurt me so bad that at the apex of her A, I experienced (very brief) thoughts of suicide- and I consider myself a very mentally strong person. I have never experienced such deep and profound emotions of sorrow, disappointment and anger- to name a few- ever in my life.

Right now I am dealing with a S10 so pent up with rage towards my STBXW that he has viciously physically attacked her several times and his own therapist presently considers it too dangerous for him to be around her. My S10 was a happy sweet little boy who loved his mother more than anything in the world before my STBXW's EA/PA. My S12 and D4 are also having serious issues whereas before the EA/PA they had none and were happy, well adjusted children. My STBXW's A (and now possible MLC)has devastated us financially and we may ultimately lose our home.

I hate to say this, because I do empathize with you, but instinctively, I would suggest you consider just leaving this poor man alone. Try to focus on making amends with your children instead.

One question I am curious about is whether the new man knows the true circumstances surrounding your D- does he know you cheated?

I am sorry for your loss. I wish I could be more upbeat and positive in my feedback. I would give serious consideration to seeing a therapist to help you deal with and find ways to manage your guilt.

Take care and good luck.