Love it!!! As I always say, DB is NOT a magical bandaid to be applied to all sitches in the same manner. Do what works for YOU.Glad you figured it out. Ooohh, I like the babydoll idea.
Thanks for the welcome mf. I have been on here for awhile but never have good sugestions as I am reading and learning from everyone. As a guy I guess I can't really wear the short doll dress can I ?lol. Glad to hear that things are positive for u. Keep it up and you'll have him right where you want him . I am under Valentines day coming . My sitch has been tough because I flip flop. From nc to some contact and R talk. Still trying to figure this db thing. Love to hear positive result stories.
M 43 W 43 S15 S 12 D 10 ILYBNILWY ( Dec 2009) Sleeping separate rooms April 8 2010. Sep as of 07/14/2010 W moving out 07/31/2010 No OM confirmed ( yet)
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
And, guess what happened at home last night. I had changed to go to bed. I had on a baby-doll style shortie night-gown, a bit, okay a lot, low cut. He totally checked me out. This is a first in a few ways... He was actually IN OUR room at bedtime, and not off w/the boys, falling asleep elsewhere, then stumbling in mid-night. And, he actually noticed me!
I am so so so proud of you!!! look at you go! this is amazing mind, and you will be rewarded for it, I know. You have learned your H's needs and you are fulfilling them, as well as being yourself and taking care of yourself, and beginning to love yourself and having fun too.
love it!!! I'm so excited for you
and him checking you out, of course! your a beautiful woman and I promise he is attracted to you. IMHO, he is just stuck in the limbo like you have been. BUT, your making some moves that he has not expected and it's going to allow him to break out of some shells...not quickly, but slowly he will break out of it.
Have you given yourself a time frame on this new "strategy"? I think you should give yourself a goal, and then when that time comes, look back and see if you have progressed or not.
I also think that because you are making these changes, that it would be better to hold off on that "talk" until some time has passed to see the affects...at the least, 3 weeks, imho. but definitely still make plans to have the "talk"
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
You are right- you busted the divorce; time to work on your marriage! Good point that they are really 2 different goals.
So it will be interesting to see if he brings up the R soon! Or will you? It reminds me of like when we met our spouses and one of us wanted the other to say "I love you" first. Well I made myself wait for him but we BOTH wanted to say it all along! So maybe your H is, or has been, waiting for you to bring up your marriage issues?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Yea, the band-aid analogy is good, but I'd like to let it get some air, finally! After all, you know, I am a breath of freakin' fresh air! We'll see...
Luv -
Hello!?!?! Take notes, girlfriend. I'm going to give you something to learn from! LoL
Cesco -
Baby doll? LoL I nearly splattered my screen w/Diet Coke reading that one!
I'll for sure check out your thread. I think I did an amazing job of busting this divorce, and providing a safe/welcoming haven to be in... So, if you're flip flopping, we'll have to put an end to that immediately!!!
It's a LONG and WINDING road!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
So great.