R2-I'm with ya on that. I did pick up a book on women & MLC that was very helpful for me. My wife is 52, and most of the talk in there was about more middle age things, but then I remember that my wife started to take her journey at 36 and it just seems she's never stopped?
Let me give you a little of my success from my sitch.
We've been married 33 years with 6 kids and 13 grandkids. I was not the best husband for the first 15 years in regards to listening to, validating and cherishing my wife. She grew tired of it, filed for a D and had a PA. We reconciled after 4 months and I thought it was better after a few years.
Fast forward another 15 years. The youngest child goes off to college and 2 weeks later the wife again moves out w/o notice, files for D and swears she could never ever be intimate again or be a wife to anyone. I went into a deep depression for 6 months while she took every opportunity it seemed to let me have it verbally. After NC for 3 months, and close to that youngest daughters wedding she decided to call off the D and move back (not the same house though) and work on the M.
For the first several weeks it was honeymoon city. I mean I couldn't walk (it was great). This from the woman who could never, ever do that again. If people see a change in YOU, that helps to spark a change in them. Miracles are indeed possible. She called off the D the morning we were supposed to be in court.
The problem is neither one of us did enough to change what we needed to. We somehow got back to the casual relationship that caused the problem and she left again and filed again. I can fault me for not doing the work I should have done the last 9 months she was gone.
Things can change. But you cannot waste the time you have to change and improve you, which is part of this journey. There are no guarantees. I remember the day we had a conference call to call off the D. I could not believe she would do it. I remember the first night back together like 2 young teenagers. Even with where things are at right now, they bring a smile to my face, but I would caution anyone, do all the work you can on you while you have the time. Do NOT let this opportunity pass you by. Good luck!
I am not sure there will be any miracle with a last minute call off by her this go around. Still there is the opportunity for me to create a miracle in me by changing those things that are undesirable and need to be changed within myself. Go forward and make the changes you need to make for YOU.
