How do I act?

[Surviving03]

this is sooooo hard!!! how do i get over this???? I feel like im in denial now, like I am hanging on to that hope that when he gets home from Iraq he will see me and just change his mind... I pray every night that God will keep us together... and if He doesnt, then He wasnt listening to me.... I feel stupid... I feel sick, lost, embarrassed.... I am so terrified of what life is going to be like when he does return... and the fact that he just completely stopped talking to me, that just KILLS me! we went from being so in love to planning a family and not being able to wait until he returned home....to THIS! how??? why??? Im just sick over it.... yet another day I couldnt make it into work because I got no sleep and I just feel too depressed....