Invinceable

[LolaL]

Honey stop. Breath.

Say this:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (
Gabe and his immature behavior)

The courage to change the things I can (letting Gabe get to you)

And the wisdom to know the difference (remember, you cannot control him at all).

Trust me Mish...karma is a bitch. In the long run, it WILL bite him in the ass. All you have to do is sit back and watch.

So take Gabe completely out of the equation now. Pretend there is no Gabe. He is just some friend of your sons. He means nothing to you.

You don't need to do anything when it comes to him. Give him enough rope, he will hang himself. You concentrate on being the best you can be, the best mother, the best woman.

And remember, there is no Gabe.

[ClingingToHope]

Stepping away. I'm all screwed up and really don't know what to do next. I can't fix me, why do I expect Gabe to fix himself? Why keep at this? No one is going to come out of this alright, so I'm tired of trying.

Why are you upset with yourself? It seems to me like you handled things OK. I'm not sure what your next steps should be in setting boundaries on "drop-ins."

[JCJ]

(((Mish)))

These h's seem to get so locked into lying or 'avoiding the truth' that they can't get out of the habit. They seem to do just as much ass-u-ming as us LBS. It is bizarre how they carry on and frustrating for you. It is natural to be upset by it but take a step back, it is his problem not yours. He may be basing what he perceives as your reactions on his experience with the broom. He made his bed, let him lie in it including the financials.

[MichelleLT]

You have not become some raging lunatic. He's projecting his own sense of failure and insecurity onto you. He's projecting his own anger at himself onto you.

Do not let him define you.

You are a wonderful loving understanding sweet person.

He is dealing with the fallout from his actions. The loss of his career, the loss of his jobs, the loss of his family. It's not your job to save him, nor is it your job to teach him a lesson or make him feel guilty.

Just ignore his crap. Wait for a good time to file for CS.

Live your life in the meanwhile.

You are not screwed up.

[BobbiJo]

Oh, Mish...
It is true though....he has done this to himself. 99% of the time Dan lashes out at me, he is really po'd at himself but directs it at me so he doesn't have to really look at himself...same is true w/Gabe I bet.

Work on rising above his crap...

Hugs!

[mishka422]

I made a conscious decision to not speak/text/email Gabe regarding anything in the future. Unless Marc has a desperate emergency that I think his father is entitled to know about, he will not hear one word. No courtesy pictures of Marc, no relaying of anything regarding him. If he wanted to know about his child, he would make sure he was involved. Marc doesn't talk to him about much so Gabe will never know what he's up to. Fine by me.

[LolaL]

I think that is an awesome idea. The exes depend so much on us for these little things, and it is not forcing them to take the responsibility they SHOULD take. Gabe needs to check on his son on his own.

It will be easier on you not to have that constant contact as well. I know it is easy for me to say, SG and I did not have children together, for which I am eternally grateful. But XH and I have the Tween together, and she is 14 so I really don't talk to him either. Makes things a lot easier.

How are you feeling today?

[mishka422]

I'm ok. Work is a little nuts and since I really hate my job it makes it that much worse. Oh well.....you're not supposed to like your job are you?

[LolaL]

I think you are asking the wrong person. Of course, I went through an awful lot of them before I found one I really liked.

[mishka422]

I'm just so stuck and tired of the business. I'd love to do something else but getting the schooling and training just takes more time and money than I have. I haven't given up the idea, just not able to figure out a way to make it work right now.