Thank you for taking the time to explain in such great detail. You are truly a blessing to me. You have such knowledge and experience to share with all of us. Thank you for taking so much time to write out all of these Sermons I have read today. I really have learned a lot. Now I just need to implement them into my everyday life, learning to detach is hard for me, but God is giving me the strength to do it with love and compassion.
I misunderstood a lot and I Thank you for explaining it to me so that I could better see it.
I am 'getting it' that its not about me, the LBS... I fear he is a running and will get stuck, or as Snodderly mentioned this just may be a cycle.... and I can agree with that and unfortunately he may never come out of replay... I understand he is looking for another replacement, that euphoria again... I guess you think ( when your the 3rd wife ) but I'll be different, were soul mates, we will never get divorced, I guess everyone thinks that when they say their vows. I just dont believe in divorce, so with him divorcing me this is especially hard for me.
I wonder if the first time he had the affair for 2 months and was in a state of replay ( bicycling like he used to love to do, spending his entire savings on her, etc... and once he came and admitted it, seeing the devastation of what that did to me and the Guilt he felt from it, maybe now knowing there is that OW or NEED for it, he has chosen to just END it by divorcing me instead of doing the same thing again? Who knows. Doesn't really matter, I guess..
I know he is not one to look within, it scares the heck out of him and so he would rather look the other way and run....
I pray and pray and look to God for strength, this is by far the Hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life.
The grieving of my marriage dying and my H divorcing me is something that I am working through, I try very hard to now live my days, AS IF he were GONE... (which he is) It's hard to do at times but with everyday it gets a little easier..
I have said it before but for me it's what I live by now.... I would rather the man I am in love with get through this Journey however he needs to and come out finally being healthy and have GOD in his life much more than I would rather him BE MINE and BE BACK..... I love him unconditionally and always will.
I can't thank you enough for all the resources and everything that I have found on this forum, the help I have received, the input etc. I am so new in this and am taking baby steps, but everyday I learn something new.
Thank you all for your love and support. I don't feel so alone anymore.
