You will learn the further along you go in this journey that the MLC'er doesn't think the way LBS does. LBS is the stanchion, the pillar of strength that is trying to hold it all together. MLC'er is out in the wild blue yonder, twisting in the wind. Their perceptions are altered for the time they spend in MLC. This is assuming they will come out in the end, changed, and much better than they were.
The MLC'er is trying to "dull" or "get rid of" the pain; the MLC affair, for a period of time may do just that for them..but it's ONLY a temporary fix for the MLC'er.
That is also why a large percentage of marriages born out of affairs do not last. They were started out of deception, and are destined for FAILURE. Even if the MLC'er goes on with his OW and marries her, there's a good chance the "relationship" will fail, or there will be heavy turbulence throughout the rest of their lives.
The Bible is not just blowing smoke when it says we shall reap what we sow, if we sow in corruption, we shall reap in corruption. Everything done comes back whether it's good or bad done, no matter what they do to "justify" their actions...they will get it all back in spades for a season. No one knows how long a "season" is, not even me..only God knows this. I do not say this in arrogance, only in truth.
I did watch my husband sow what he had reaped, and have watched many others go through the reaping; and it is not an easy reaping; it is hard and full of trouble.
I'm gone to get something to eat, and get some rest now.....I'm a truckdriver stopped for the night;..had jumped on, and caught your post. At first, I thought the SAME thing as Jack 3 Beans did, then I read it again, realizing what you were asking.
These are GOOD questions, and don't hesitate to ask more questions if you have them. I asked a great many myself when I was dealing with this; knew I wouldn't get answers unless I asked.
Anyone who'd like to add to the discussion, feel free to do so.
Will check back in.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
