Well so far all of these are things that she has "made you feel". What have you done to get yourself in a better place in life? Sounds like you're still allowing her to control you. What have you done (outside of the R stuff) have you done for you? And I don't mean seeing a L.
What have you done to enrich YOUR life?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.