No longer "stuck808". Now my name is Bond. "MrBond

[MrBond]

Journaling.

So Saturday we see each other and have lunch together with the kids. It's nice and I leave to go home alone afterwards. That night I talk to her briefly and things are nice.

Then on Sunday, we go out to an event together with the kids. She's in a bit of a quiet mood, I think cause she's tired, but things are good. I drop her off and I give her a hug when she leaves. I try to make eye contact with her when we do it, but she always looks downward or seems nervous. It always looks like she's ashamed of something and can't look at me in the eye when we get close.

Unlike in the past, she would have looked uncomfortable and told me to back off or something. I don't know. It almost looks like she's trying something but is still holding back.

So later that night we talk again on the phone and I bring up the issue about our D's school. I told her that I wanted her to understand that I am not "overriding" her decision or that her opinion doesn't matter. She threw in a "whatever" and "do what you want" then I stopped her again. I told her that we were having an adult conversation and that I never wanted to hear her say "whatever" again. That a M requires compromise and listening and I was interested in listening to her.

Then I told her about how many times I had to hold my tongue when she wanted something and I didn't, but that I understood how important it was for her so I let her have her way. I wasn't about to have her get into her "victim" mode again.

So I told her I was always interested in what she had to say, and that all she had to do was say it. We kind of left it at that.

I wanted to re-enforce her talking to me as a positive, so I emailed her today the following message:

"Thanks for talking last night. I know this stuff isn't easy for you to talk about, but you've been trying and I think you've been doing great. It's weird how after so many years, we've forgotten how to talk to each other. I read that's what happens when couples are together for so long, but it's easy to get back as long as they try.

Well thanks for a good weekend together and I hope you have a good day at work."

Then she replied "thanks".

I was actually surprised that she replied, but oh well. one step at a time.

I definitely had fun with my Ds last night though. I do miss them when I don't have them.