!Help! Need Advice and encouragement!

[stark648]

It's really really hard to "go dark" because of the kids.

My youngest d-11 still calls her Momma a lot.

Also, W still has furniture & stuff from s-16 and 2 pieces of furniture she said she was going to remove this week. Then, the moving will be all done...

Makes me sadder about that, actually. Seems more final.

If there's no excuses for her to come over while I'm around, how will she ever see anything about me or want to come back?


We were rather snippy at each other today, because my daughter was scheming to get W over to house to visit for her birthday(her actual b-day is today). D-11 had acted like it was W who was doing the planning. I had told d-11 to have Momma call ME if she was planning on a visit.

W called and was cranky --saying d-11 was the one doing the asking for a visit...I said fine, but I wanted direct calls, not through daughters. She was saying they were still her daughters and they still wanted to see her. I said of course they are, but the relationships can't be the same as they were between them, it was going to be different. She said, "I know it'll be different--but they're still my daughters, etc."

I can't really ask the girls to "go dark"--- And I don't even know if I should.

I keep thinking how before when wife was talking about how I didn't "fight the divorce" very hard... and wondering if I'm doing the right thing in acting like I'm completely moving on.



I don't know how OM could possibly get "out of the picture" because she can't support herself and d-16 without him. The three of them can barely support each other now. She seems to have made the three of them into her "new family" , and doesn't seem to mind being broke too much.


The whole situation is very saddening. I feel pretty discouraged and I could truly use some encouragement that it will possibly turn around at some point.

On the other hand, the new woman wants to go out next weekend and we sorta have a date---- This is not really the way I hoped things would go, as far as my family is concerned, but we could both enjoy each other's company--and yes, she knows I've only been separated since January.

I'm going to try to keep focused, but I hurt for the kids and us as a family, you know?