Hi friends, Quick update (in midst of packing). No word from H on Sat (surprise surprise..). was glad b/c did not feel like dealing w him then as I had a fun night planned with friends. He called yesterday and arranged to come by this afternoon.
It was surprisingly anti-climactic and just fine. We had a few laughs over keeping/throwing away random tchotchkies collected over the years. He was hear about 45 mins total. Zero R talk. He just signed tax forms he needed to and took them to mail. That was fine by me - i did not want to get into anything now and I think it was best for both of us to keep it to simple housekeeping matters.
Walked him to his car..big hug. He said 'this is not goodbye..we'll keep in touch' followed by 'this is not sad, this is good...' (us splitting, my move, who knows?) It was just fine. And I saw that surprisingly (to myself even) non emotional. No tears or anything, just calm/upbeat/friendly. But weird, nonetheless.
Y'know...as I was walking back thought in the back of my head... of course it would have been nice if he'd offered to actually help me with this (move), or 'might have been nice to grab a bite together before i left' (given that I have random strangers who I just met offering to help me out. But one thing that I realize throughout this process is that I have let go of expectations! I really don't expect much of him so I'm no longer disappointed. Like he didn't call Sat to come by...and I was not surprised at all (I was somewhat relieved, actually). I just have very low expectations surrounding him at this point and that's for the better overall. Like if we'd gone to dinner it could have gotten awkward or emotional right before I am leaving, and so maybe that's for the best. The offer or gesture seems like it would have been the 'right' thing to do, but no expectation here at all and probably more self-protection to just retreat back to my apt and relax and get things done.
No mention of tuition signage or D papers...and that is just fine and QUITE preferred for me right now. I want to put my attn and focus on moving on, relaxing, having fun right now. Cards will fall into place here eventually. I'm not worried about tuition $ at this point b/c I'm not signing any D papers until that's in writing and H knows that...so potential wins on both sides..if he wants his D then I want the $ agreement in writing.
Doing OK. Beautiful sunny day here in Boston and taking it all in. Walking around and enjoying last few days here. Feel odd in some ways about how calm I am right now, and yet excited about my move and the next adventure. Set-backs will come along the way, but for now I'm doing just fine..
