Well, we had our first appt with a FT today. C asked W "how would she feel if your H decides that he doesn't want the M?" Wife's response, "Well that would make my life a lot easier."
Well folks...I think that about wraps it up.
She's not been able to put a NC in place; she told C today that baby daddy was not keen on the idea of having to go through me to inquire about his D.
And I'm not too keen on going to FT if she can't show the initiative to save the M.
Well C stated that she didn't sense any commitment to the M from my W and that's why she asked the question. It was response to my w's ambivalence to whether or not she wanted the M.
So C has decided to have 2 individual sessions for each of us and then bring us back together. She said that she wouldn't do any MC for us if we're not committed to saving the M.
I dont think you have the right C. My sessions were similar- Allen made a point in another thread that a good C would encourage SP's to accept "trying"- I believ his example was can you build a house ( if you've never built one before)- in that case, "I'll try" is pretty valid and should be accepted as both honest and 'willing'.
I'm not qualified to judge but it doesn't really sound like C offered very much
That's interesting... 4luv's counsellor told HER that all they needed was one person at 100% and the other could be at 1% or 2% and that would be good enough
it sounds like YOURS is saying it must be 100 - 100 or its no go lol
These counsellors frighten me sometimes
But I really don't think tha'ts the kind of question you hit someone with WHILE your SPOUSE is THERE in teh ROOM is it?
I really think putting the spouse in teh room when questions like that are asked is a bad idea.. but what do I know. lol
Exactly maynard... and I think if you ask these questions while the spouse is in the room, MOST waywards are NOT going to offer a positive repsonse simply because teh AS is in teh ROOM.. they will NEVER admit that they want to try while "the enemy" is nearby lol
Ya know...if I had a "normal" W; there was only one A; no kid from the A; and I was 100 percent wanting the M....I'd probably find another FT.
Frankly, I'm not 100 percent sure I'm willing to try. I know that D is hard on kids; but so is all the uncertainty in her life. At least I offer stability and no drama.
yes you do offer that, but W has to come to see that...if your willingness is in question, your detaching should be pretty good...I'm sure that can only help matters
