Not to worry mb28 we can do damage control here.. just need to get a good letter put together... BUT YOU neeed to be able toFOLLOW THROUGH with what we write here..
if you send it and phone him an hour a later, it will undo any damage control we get done here...
Whatnow, I saw some good stuff in there but it was a bit long and it sounded as if you were pursuing divorce, the Protection Letter that Penny advises to be sent out must NOT advocate divorce EVER. It MUST be marriage friendly at all times.
We love you and I married you for life. I want to remain married to you, and our children need their father. I am willing and committed to doing what it takes to be the spouse you've always wanted and to address the things that I did wrong in our marriage.
The affair is so painful for me and hurtful to our children that it will destroy the love I have for you and it will permanently injure our children. In order to protect those feelings and our children I must end all contact with you. As soon as the affair is over I would love to talk with you about our future and our lovely children. Until that time please respect my wish for no contact whatsoever in any form.
In an emergency you can reach me through ______. Arrangements for seeing children and handling finances are_____.
I love this. I think if you took 100 people on these boards, in various stages of infidelity, and they did NOTHING ELSE RIGHT, but they sent this? and stuck to it??
I bet 50-75% of the affairs would be busted, right off the top. Seriously.
Puppy
Yes, I agree with you, this is why I am SO QUICK to advocate NO CONTACT, its VERY POWERFUL..
The probelm is a LOT of spouses can't "stick to it"... its the sticking to it part that's hard...
If you are ok wtih my updated version of Penny's Protection Phase letter let me know
I think you saw the mild effect a partial No Contact was having mb28... you just need to push him a bit harder...
Don't worry about today, I think that is totally reparable... but yu DO need to do some damage control hre and write a letter.. I wrote the latest one here, its based on Penny's but I added commentary in about your children too.
I think my first draft was pretty close to Penny's anyway
I love you and I married you for life. I want to remain married to you. I am willing and committed to doing what it takes to be the spouse you've always wanted and to address the things that I did wrong in our marriage.
The affair is so painful for me that it will destroy the love I have for you. In order to protect those feelings I must end all contact with you. As soon as the affair is over I would love to talk with you about our future. Until that time please respect my wish for no contact whatsoever in any form.
In an emergency you can reach me through ______. Arrangements for seeing children and handling finances are_____.
Sincerely, [YOUR NAME]
Thank you for sending this up whatnow.. I knew she had a sample one, but I didn't have it handy and I wanted to get something out fast..
I put both letters up for contrast. Too many words will distract a wayward from the message! (Mine was written after he walked out the door and was headed to see lawyer next)
Where's mb? I hope you didn't reach for the phone again!!!!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
