These "moments" you have with your wife are good things, but you are realizing that they come with an edge. It's not so much that your wife withdraws - that really is NOT a surprising thing in this environment.
The edge is your response to her withdrawal. I'm hoping that with repetition will come acceptance on your part. You do seem to be handling the withdrawal a little better, but it's also clear that it carries baggage.
How many times do you have to extend a soft, gentle, and caring hand to a wounded and hurting animal before it begins to trust you?
I know your wife is not an animal, but she comes to you in a very similar state. She is wounded, maybe even broken in some way. At some point she pointed to you as a contributor in her wounding, rightfully or not. Doesn't it make sense that she feels the need to recoil when she has made herself too vulnerable?
It's asking a lot of you. But this is your wife, your marriage, your family. You are the husband, father, and man in this relationship and I say that carries with it an incredibly vital responsibility to stay the course, shoulder the burden, and be the rock that your family can depend upon.
Prepare for her to show. But also prepare for her to decide not to show. And whatever she eventually does, accept it with grace. Don't get deflated, at least not to her knowledge and don't put her on a guilt trip. Remind yourself of that wounded animal...
Every single one of these positive moments is like hiring the worlds finest mason to build the foundation to your home. And hey, he's a busy guy so sometimes it takes him awhile, but the best is worth waiting for, right?
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
