That is why you have to go dark, act as if you are happy as a lark and go do something really fun for yourself. This is you time. He is trying to justify his actions by getting you involved with some sort of R talk and then turning it around and use that conversation to show you how miserable he is with you. Just start to validate what he says, with gosh I can see how you would feel that way or I am sorry you are going through this. You do not have to agree with anything, but to validate. Then get the hell out of there. It is hard to argue with someone that is validating you.
See how this works. Trust me, that is why I am here, I did make it and I want you to know that there is hope. I cannot guarantee that this will work for you, but I can tell you it gives yourself the best chance to make it work. And if it does not, his loss, because you are going to be great afterwards. Have you made any changes in yourself yet, hair, dress, make up, gym, lost weight, put some of those fru fru undies on and prance around. This is you time! mmmmm fru fru undies.
