Right, that is kind of what I meant. Your H seems to have HIS goals and if those goals were attained then it seems they would benefit the family but the initial goal was made for him and him only.
I do think every married person needs to find a balance (personal goals and family goals) but when one person starts focusing only on their goals and leaving the family goals on the wayside, well, we all know what happens.
It's interesting really. One of my H's biggest complaints about me was I was too independent. Why did I work when I didn't need to? Why did I not need him more? Your H seemed to want you to need him less and work more. Men are funny creatures. I always wondered to myself what the heck was wrong with my H. Here he had a wife that enjoyed working, brought in a good income and no desires to be "kept". Early on in our marriage I was offered a job in another state making a very income. Much more than my H made. His response? I won't know anybody and you will be working all the time and I won't even know where to go and get a sandwich. My H equated the betterment of my career with him being left behind. When in fact my goal was to make a better life for US. I never took that job because he really didn't want me to. I chose us.
