But listen to what he said- "let go and see what happens."
I know all of this is hard, and I know that half the time I feel like a hypocrite b/c it's easy to give good advice...
Every time you have contact w/ H and pressure him or pursue him- it sets you up to be rejected...I know you feel H feels the way you do somewhere- I'm quite sure he does, just as my W does...but we cannot remind them of that!!!
Please let him experience some loss- go into a good mental place while Dark- do whatever you want to do, and be a great mom.
BUT you cannot keep setting yourself up like this...you cannot rationalize, or teach, lecture, or say anything- while OW is around he just doesn't see you.
In college I had the best GF ever- I loved her very much- to this day I love her.
I was using a lot of drugs, as was she- then I met this other girl who was just different. Suddenly I was all about that girl. My X pursued me in every way- and I loved her w/ all me heart before I met the new girl.
I ignored her and everytime she did anything to remind me of us, I got stressed and ran.
The last time I saw her she even suggested we kiss just to see if there was anything there- she was a great kisser- but I just wasnt there.
When she pulled away I baited her, I was more interested, I grew board w/ the new GF, etc, etc.
Long story short, several years go by- and I realize she was the catch between the two- the one I should have been w/. She's M w/ 2 kids now and happy- and that's all I want for her.
It's hard to do as the LBS but that's the nature of the beast.
be a better woman if H comes back, and have the choice if you want him back
