How do I expose the affair

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NOT GOOD!!!!!!!!!
Huge backslide on my part. I was so emotional today, and ended up calling my H to tell him how much I miss him. I asked if he really didn't see any hope for us and he replied "No, I don't". I knew as I was doing this it was wrong, dam emotions. He went on to say that neither of us can live like this anymore, so we need to just move on and end it. I was so upset, I had to leave work. I hate that this OW has that much control over him. He haden't talked to her hardly at all last week, and that's when things were going well. But he talked to her this weekend, and now he is back to "We just need to end it" and then I make it worse by having a melt down with him on the phone.

I'm so afraid to do the NC 100%, but I think it's my only option at this point. I'm thinking of sending him an email that says something like:

Dear H,
Divorce is not my choice and that is not what I want. I do think we have a marriage worth saving, and I would really like us to try together. However, you have made your choice to head in the other direction. And this situtation is huring both of us and is not heatlhy. I think it's best that we don't have any contact of any kind until you have made up your mind. If we need to contact each other about the kids, we can have your mom be our messenger between us.

Please advice on wether I should send something like this or not.

Also, for those of you on here that have truly done the NC, please tell me what I can expect. Will this push my H to file those papers? I need some hope, if this is really the right thing to do.