I went to the dermatologist today. Wanted to for quite some time. I used to have nice skin and it has gotten really bad over the years. Guess what? She said the lack of iron does that. So, I am scheduled for a laser treatment to get rid of the scars and then a 20 day mild therapy and then a peeling and she said, I will be as good as new.
I wanted to do this now is the time. H called a couple of times because I also went to check out a mole that looked weird (harmless!!), and he said he would come with me for the laser treatment. That is funny. He didnt come with me when I had a lump in my breast and now he wants to come for a 5min laser treatment... I guess,the fog has cleared after all.
He told me he feels really good about us lately. I told him what I do:I wake up and everytime I wonder if I should do something, I choose :be loving or resentful. I "use" his LL, I boost his ego, I am caring etc etc. At least 80% of the times. The rest 15 I choose at least not to act resentful. The rest 5% I am a bitch!! (that's the % I enjoy most).
I asked him if he thinks he is the prefect companion. He said of course not. And then I asked what does he do to get better? Asked him if he read the book. He said nope. I told him, it's time to get off the pot. He said he is more confident than ever about his decision. I told him I read the files on his laptop. He said he diddnt even know they existed and that "I should have deleted them". I replied that is his job to do.
I told him about sex and that if we have a problem there, it's a dealbreaker for me. He said something thru his teeth, dont know what. I give him time to digest that.
My son has been telling my parents how happy he is we are back together. My parents are happy to hear that. I felt trapped and went spinning again for a while. I had to remind myself only death is irreversible (sp?), everything else I can decide to change. I calmed myself down.
I am having blood tests done this week and will shop around for a good massage place and a pilates studio.
My gfs bought me a Coach bag on Sat (lol).
Today I realised I sent the wrong file to the BoD on January with the Dec data!!! Nobody noticed, LOL!! Could have gotten fired! I let my boss know and he said he will cover for me if needed (if he doenst get fired as well).
My friends all called and said they had a wonderful time Sat. I did too. And the fact that I took pictures was so unlike me. Especially pics of me.
Overall, there is progress. I think my iron supplements are working cause I am feeling some energy back. I was so tired and moody all the time.
