How do you forget....how do you turn off the love?

[ddstartingover]

Kat - thanks for asking.

Last week was too much. I am so glad it is over, the following happened over the weekend. These things will help me move forward (not in any particular order):

1. I texted H to tell him about our dog - no response
2. I texted H and told him Happy Birthday - no response
3. I texted H with directions to hotel and school - no response.
4. H told me late in the day on Friday that he wanted to drive D13 and S11 to hotel - I said ok (his weekend). He arrived very late. Kids didn't get practice time, or pool time.
5. H spent most of the day in his truck on Saturday, only coming in for performances of our kids. I had e-mailed the schedule, gave him a typed schedule Saturday morning, yet he continued to text me throughout the day to find out the performance times. He couldn't seem to keep the times straight.
6. H called me when I was leaving the hotel to go to the school early Saturday morning to tell me D13 had used all of the shampoo. I told him I would bring him some, as it was implied that that was why he was calling. I took it to the room. D13 greeted me at the door for delivery. There was no thank you at any point.
7. D13 asked to ride home with me Saturday night. I told her it was ok, if OK with dad. She came home with me. H later texted and said both girls should just stay with me for the night.
8. H chose not to celebrate his birthday with the kids. After ball practices were over he went to band practice. He asked if S11 could go and stay with him last night. I said yes. Both D's were very disappointed that there was no birthday celebration---and maybe disappointed that he chose something to do that only included S11.
9. I did not let my emotional state dictate how I treated H this weekend. I was able to act as if nothing was wrong, that I hadn't had my first L appt., that I hadn't had to put OUR dog to sleep, that I wasn't thinking of my dad, and not celebrating his birthday. I treated him as I would anyone else----by going out of my way to be kind, do favors for him and be helpful. H continued to treat me as if I had the plague---but not to the point that he didn't ask things of me.
10. I have AMAZING kids. My kids finished 1st (S11), 2nd (D16) and 3rd (D13)and all qualified for state competition.

I took some time and really thought about how H was acting, and acting towards me. It helps me to apreciate how DONE he is---even though I'm not.